We Are Finished

Baby Girl turned 17 months on Saturday. She has not nursed since Thursday. I think we are officially weaned. Breastfeeding her was the most challenging and most rewarding experience of my life.

It hurt in the beginning, and then again when she started teething. It hurt when she bit me a few times. It hurt when her latch changed after she got teeth.  It hurt when I had a clogged duct. It hurt when she felt like she was permanently attached to me for the first few months. And it hurts to know that she is done. Don't misunderstand. I am so done. I want my body back. It was the right time. She was ready and I was ready. But that does not mean it doesn't hurt.

I sustained her life. All by myself until she was a year old. No formula. Just Mommy's milk. I am so proud of meeting that goal. Then continued on as she was eating full meals and snacks. I kept on nursing her. Less and less. But I was still able to soothe her or put her down to rest by nursing her. It was our time together. It was beautiful. But now we are done and ready to bond in other ways.

I will miss her staring into my eyes like I was her whole world. Or the gentle touches on my face. There is a lot I will not miss and if you have ever nursed a baby, you know what I am talking about. The bites, the pumping, the niplash, the inability to just pop a cold medicine when you are miserably sick. Breastfeeding is hard. Am I glad to be done. I am glad to have done it. It is something that I am looking forward to doing again when the time comes. My breastfeeding journey started with tears and it ended with tears. Today, these tears are happy and sad. I am done. I have met my goals. I have provided for my child. I have persevered through the pain and the challenges. I have done it. We have done it. And we are finished.

Preschool: Watercolor Gingerbread Houses

For this simple Christmas craft you will need:

-copies of any gingerbread house coloring page or reproducible copied on thick paper or watercolor paper (found here)

Watercolor paints

Adhesive foam gingerbread men (I found mine at Michael's)

Kiddos paint the houses, cut them out (or adult can do it) and add a gingerbread man. Here's our ginger village! 

The Moment You Broke My Heart

From the first second you entered this world, you broke my heart. Your tiny little cry, your precious little face, your head full of dark swirly hair. It broke my heart. Your first latch, your first smiles, your bright blue eyes. My heart filled with so much love that I felt it start to crack. It was overwhelmed.

At two weeks old you took your first little bottle of pumped milk. My heart broke. Soon you started intentionally smiling, rolling over, staring into my eyes as you nursed. And my heart broke.

You would rub my face or arm as you nursed, clap your hands when you were happy and wave. And my heart broke.

It broke when you giggled and cooed and sat up on your own. When you played with your toys and  said "Da-da" the first time. It really broke when I cuddled you as you spent your first Christmas with a nasty cold.

My heart broke when you started to give kisses, wave bye, dance and be silly. When you started to intentionally play, chatter and show affection.

With each new word, each new triumph it broke. It still does. Your first steps, your first birthday. *sigh*

But today my heart nearly shattered in half. It wasn't because it was overfilled with joy and pride. Today it was because of my own mistake. I caused you pain. And my heart broke.

The first and only time you drank cow's milk, you got a bad diaper rash and bad tummy pains. Today as I poured a glass for the neighbor girl, I decided to take the doctor's suggestion to try it one last time. It was against my better judgement, what my heart felt. But I did it. Because you were begging for it. You were breaking my heart. You happily drank only an ounce or so, having more fun shaking it up and seeing the frothy bubbles it made. Shortly after, you were fussy and tired and chaos was ensuing around me. I needed to tend to the other daycare kids quickly and hoped that you would fall asleep if I put you in your crib for a few minutes. I laid you down and shut the door. I listened to your screams as I refilled cups, cleaned up messes and played referee. It was only five minutes, but I your heart breaking screams made it feel like hours. I picked you up, expecting you to stop screaming, happy that Mommy was holding you. But you didn't stop. You screamed and thrashed and wailed. And my heart broke. I thought it was because of me letting you unattended in your crib for a few minutes, that your heart was broken. For forty minutes I rocked you, tried to nurse you, rubbed your back, held you as you screamed. My heart broke. Again and again, over and over it broke. You have never acted like that. Never. Never have you been inconsolable. Tears welled in my eyes as I wished Daddy was home to help. I prayed with you. You finally fell asleep. As my hand was on your belly I could feel it rumble and rumble. The milk. The milk did this. My heart broke. When you woke up, again you were screaming in pain. Finally, you got the gas out and you were once again your happy little self. Running, squealing, smiling. And my heart broke.

You'll break my heart everyday. I know it. Sometimes from swells of happiness and sometimes rueful, sometimes painfully, like today. I'm so glad for a broken heart. I hope most are from the heaviness of happiness. I love that you break my heart.

Preschool: Name Book Turkeys

If you are not familiar with our Name Books start here.

Here's a little addition for this year. Matching up our names! Each kiddos was given a cup with a precut body, feathers with the letters of their name prewritten, 2 wiggley eyes and a beak. They matched their name to their name tags and glued them around their turkey body. Add eyes, beak and wattle and your good to go!

Comment, Pin and Share! :) 

Preschool: Grape Scented Grapes!

I used:
-purple paint
-sponge
-wine cork
-an empty spice container
-grape Kool-Aid
-brown and green crayons or markers
-white paper (thicker is better)

Important things to know:
~Mixing Kool-Aid powder with paint will result in a gritty, bubbly mess. Don't ask me how I know. :)  Sprinkling it on afterward will give you the best results.

I poured purple paint into a craft cup. Then had the kids dip the cork into the purple paint then onto the sponge to remove excess paint before using it on the paper. This is important because if you use too much paint the Kool-Aid will absorb into the paint and do weird things.  ;)
Sprinkle a very small amount of the Kool-Aid powder via the spice container onto the grapes when finished. It only takes a little. It smells so yummy!

Preschool: Duck Pond Math Center

Well, school is off to a great start! I cannot believe that we are nearing the end of September already!

Here is a new math center that I did this year in conjunction with the book, "Little Quack's New Friend".  It was simple to prepare. 

 I cut out a pond shape out of blue tag board and had it laminated so I can use it yearly. 

I randomly wrote numbers 1-9 on the pond. Then I labeled the bottom of some rubber ducks with numbers 1-9.

 I tossed the ducks in a bowl. During Circle Time, we played the game as a group. Each student chose a duck and matched the number on the duck to the number on the pond. It was great to demonstrate how to play the game at Circle Time with all the students because they could complete the center on their own or with a friend during Free Play.

Off to the Strawberry Patch! (Freezer Jam Recipe and a Craft)

My day started bright and early capturing a few quick photos of Baby Girl. She is 10 months old today. *sigh* Time sure does fly!

I had just enough time to upload pictures before I grabbed the 4 year olds from my MIL's daycare and headed to the Pick Your Own Strawberry fields near my house. The kiddos were super excited. 

It stormed last night. That was not about to stop us. Kids like to get messy, right? 

So tromping through the mud we went! 

 After a little lesson on strawberry picking from me, they began to fill their baskets!

 Red from top to tip! That is the number one rule!

 It wasn't long before our baskets began filling up!

 Ready to mark where we stopped!

  Mr. Muscles needed to carry the baskets full of our berries!

 When we got home, we washed our berries and the used plastic knives to cut the green tops off to prep our berries for freezer jam.

I apologize for the lack of photos for the jam part. Having three helpers in the kitchen left me with no time to pick up the camera. This is the recipe out of the Dutch Gel pamphlet.
I pulsed the berries in my Ninja to mash them. You do not want to puree them.
Then measured out 4 cups of mashed berries.
We added 8 cups of sugar to the berries (Whoa!) and mixed it.
Meanwhile I added 2/3 cup of Dutch Jell (Clear Jell or Sure Jell will work also) to 1.5 cups of cold water and mixed.
I put that in a small pot on the stove and heated until boiling, stirring constantly.
When it boiled I dumped it over the berries and stirred for the recommended 3 minutes. Then transferred to jars and other freezer safe containers. This jam lasts in the freezer for 6 months and in the fridge for  3-4 weeks. Keep that in mind when choosing containers. It can be used as jam or ice cream sauce. You can make milkshakes with it too.

We made milkshakes with fresh strawberries and vanilla ice cream and just blended in the ninja until smooth. The kids were loving it.

For lunch we had PB and fresh strawberry jam! Along with some of our freshly picked strawberries.

 But we did not end the fun there! After rest time, it was time for a strawberry craft.

 Kiddos cut out a strawberry shape by folding a piece of red paper in half and drawing a half heart shape on and then cutting it out. Then traced their hands onto green paper and glued it on as the top of the berry. Then they dotted glue all over and added glitter for the seeds. We twisted green pipe cleaner to resemble the vine and added a string to hang.

 Cute! Now I need a nap!